What Could Have Been
by foreverfangirling1998
Summary: A story of what could have happened differently during 8x23, 8x24. A slexie fanfic. Please review! I love feedback. I became recently inspired to do this fanfic when I was watching old greys episodes and these two dying crushed me all over again. I wanted to give them a second chance
1. Chapter 1

I sit in the back of the plane behind Christina trying to hide from him. I mean it's clear now that he doesn't feel the same way and I should just move on. But that's just the thing, I can't. Every time I try, my whole body keeps telling me it's the wrong thing to do. I feel the tears pooling in my eyes and I grip the armrests of my seat and try to pull myself together. I can't let him see me like this. I glance at him again, the fifth time now in the last minute. He's still in the same position as he was when we took off. His back uptight against the seat and like mine, his arm is gripping the armrest of his seat. His gaze is focused out the small window of the plane and every few minutes he glances down at the patient's notes for the operation in Boise. I don't think I can take another three hours of this flight.

Derek and Meredith are sitting directly behind him, their hands clasped together as they work on their crossword puzzle. How I would love to be like that. Maybe not as gag worthy as the show that they're putting on right now but, happy. I can feel my eyes consistently wandering over to Mark. Damn it I've got to keep myself occupied. I look around for something to do and I remember Dr. Robbins asking me to speak with her before we land about my part in the surgery. Oh perfect I think, she's sitting right across from Mark. Well I'm gonna have to face this sometime so it might as well be now I think as I stride up between the rows of seats. Derek's eyes catch mine as I pass and he lightly nods his head towards Mark questioningly. I quickly shake my head in response. No way am I going to get caught up in another situation like the last time, especially when we're all stuck in a confined space together for the next few hours. I would have no escape route when I messed up and started rambling on about nonsense.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is for you NCIS1990! I really appreciated the review it inspired me to keep going :)

As I walk past Derek, his eyes shift from me onto Mark. I do my best to ignore him as I pass but I can't help but throw one glance in his direction as I pass. To my surprise and horror I see his light blue eyes boring back into mine. I quickly flinch away, my nerves taking over. I sink down into the empty chair next to Arizona. "You wanted to talk to me about the surgery?"

"Oh yeah let me just find the charts"

Arizona keeps talking fast and I nod quickly trying to keep up but in truth I am taking none of this in. The only thing that I am aware of right now is that Mark is sitting so close to me. My mind carries me back to the night before he told me that Callie was pregnant with his child.

_I walk into Mark's apartment after a long day of work to find him sitting on the couch waiting for me with a big bag of takeout Chinese food on the coffee table in front of him. As I come closer I realize that he has fallen asleep waiting for me and my heart warms at the sight. I quietly slip out of my coat and shoes and curl up against his chest, wrapping is arm around me as I go. Suddenly, his arm shoots out and pulls me down on top of him until I'm straddling his waist._

" _You thought you could just creep on me then, eh?" he says as he pulls my lips down to his and presses against them gently._

" _Come on it'll be shame to waste all this food and I know you're hungry. You've just worked an 18-hour shift"_

"_Now look who's being all bossy" I tease as I ease his shirt over his head. "I've got a better idea" I bring down my lips to his and I lock my legs around his waist so that he can't get away._

"_No-no-no-no food first then sex okay?" he mutters against my lips, trying to unlock my grip on his legs _

"_I had food at work!" I protest._

"_Well in that case," he says as he pushes his lips back to mine, a smirk on his face. I giggle as he throws me onto his shoulder and heads for his bedroom my legs flailing around in the air and-_

"Lexie? Are you okay?"

Arizona's voice awakens me from my memory and I blink my eyes several times trying to get a grip on reality.

"Wha-what, oh yeah fine just tired you know" I manage to stutter out before avoiding her eyes and looking down at the surgical plan she was holding in her hand.

"You didn't hear a word I said did you?"

"Not much no, I'm so sorry my heads just all over the place. Can we talk about this later?"

"Sure, you should sit down and rest for a while."

She offers me a small smile and I return it with more enthusiasm than I'm really feeling. As I turn around, I find those piercing blue eyes again on mine, concern clear to see in them. I try to avoid his gaze and he eventually averts his eyes to the window again. On my way back to my seat, I find my hand grabbed by a concerned looking Meredith who drags me to the back of the plane to the bathroom and pushes me inside. Once we're out of sight of everyone she begins to speak.

"What's up Lex? And don't give me that crap about you being fine because I can see right through that."

I can feel the walls I've put up against the floods of tears that are threatening to appear break down. The next thing I know, I'm slumped up against Meredith and there are floods of tears coming from my eyes. Meredith looked surprised, obviously not expected such a huge reaction to her words. She held me to her as I cried all over her scrubs.

"I-I told Mark that I love him a few days ago and h-he hasn't spoken to me since which more than likely means that he has absolutely no interest in getting back together with me and he loves Julia not me and he's going to get married to her, have babies with her and spend the rest of his life with her while I'm going to have no one because I missed my chance and it's all my fault."

My body was overcome with uncontrollable sobs that I tried to muffle with my hands. I didn't want anyone hearing all of this.

"This is not your fault Lexie, do you understand me?"

I nod into her shoulder, unable to do anything else. I hear her mutter something about kicking his ass and I smile gratefully that I have Meredith. Despite our rocky start, we've become closer than I am with Molly.

"Okay, I'm going to go get my make-up bag from our luggage and we will get you cleaned right back up before you go back to your seat."

She pulls my face up so we're looking straight at each other.

"Remember Lexie, this is not your fault. If that idiot doesn't know a good thing when it comes to him, it's his loss."

I smile gratefully at her through my tears and she gives me a quick squeeze before turning around and walking back up the plane.

That's it for chapter 2. Thanks for all the views and keep the reviews coming! Do you think I should write the next chapter from Mark or Lexie POV ?


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again NCIS1990 and LexieMcSteamy for the support and advice!

**Marks POV**

I try so hard to keep my distance from her but I keep getting drawn back in. I can see her reflection in the window. She's looking straight at me and I feel kind of bad that she has no idea that I am staring right back into her beautiful, chocolate brown doe eyes. Wait, I can't. I can't think like this right now. I'm still with Julia. I won't be the manwhore that I was before. Before Lex. Before she came into my life and taught me how to love. I look down from the window to the sheets of paper on my lap without reading them. The only thing I've been thinking about since I sat down is how to resolve the situation between Lexie and Julia.

Oh damn, she's coming this way. What if she wants to talk? I can't talk to her right now. As hard as I try to look away, our eyes meet for a fleeting second as she passes. She quickly averts her eyes but I know her too well. She's upset. And what kills me is that I'm more than likely the cause of it. I can feel Derek watching me from behind, he's the only one who knows what happened that night and he's going to be mad that I'm waiting so long to decide and it's making her upset.

Though I try not to, I can't help but listen in on her and Arizona talking. My attention drops until I hear Arizona calling her name.

"Lexie? Are you okay?"

My eyes quickly shoot back to Meredith and Derek. They both have similar looks of worry on their faces. I turn my eyes back to Lexie and find her eyes staring back at me. She looks clearly uncomfortable and tries to avoid my gaze so I avert my eyes to the window. As she passes, Meredith grabs her arm and pulls her to the back of the plane.

As soon as they are out of sight, I feel someone drop down into the seat beside me. Derek.

"Mark Sloan, you may be my best friend but Lexie, she's my little sister and you are hurting her. Badly. For gods sake she confessed her love to you and you just walked away with Julia and haven't spoken to her since. How do you think she's coping? It's Lexie, the more emotionally fragile one of the Grey sisters. Do you think we don't hear Lexie crying about it when she's alone in her room. And we can't do anything to comfort her because the first time we did, she got embarrassed and it made her even more upset. She loves you Mark and she thinks she's lost you. For good."

He took a breath and after a moment spoke again.

"Do you love her?"

"Derek it's not th-"

Derek cut him off.

"Yes or no Mark? Do you love her?"

"Yes! I love her Derek! I have always loved her, and will always love her! Are you happy now?"

I look away out the window again.

"Then what the hell is the problem Mark?"

"It just won't work. We've tried and it doesn't. We want different things. I want a wife and babies and Lexie doesn't want that. But Julia does. She is at the same stage in her life as I am and that's what I need."

"No Mark. You need Lexie in your life. Besides it has been nearly two years since you two broke up. Who's to say she hasn't changed her mind on all of those things. She talked to me a few nights ago about your situation and I know for a fact that she wants everything with you.. Besides she's not so young anymore, she's nearly finished her residency. You've seen her around Zola, she'll be an amazing mother."

" I know she will."

"Tell me the truth Mark, when you look a few years into the future who do you see sitting by your side with your children running around you? Lexie or Julia?"

I stayed silent and kept staring out the window.

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Who would you prefer to see by your side?"

I still stared out the window, hoping that he would leave me alone.

"Mark, answer the question or I won't leave."

"Fine. Lexie! Okay. I would much prefer to have kids with Lexie and get married to Lexie rather than Julia! You happy?"

A big grin spread across Dereks face.

" I was right."

" Shut up Derek."

" I've just one more question; why haven't you told her yet?"

" To be honest, I wasn't sure until you said all that stuff to me right now."

" Well you aren't going to wait any longer because I know for a fact that Lexie is crying back there."

Before Mark gets a chance to answer, they spot Meredith reappearing from the back of the plane. She gives Derek a reassuring nod and then turns to me with a furious look.

"You had better make this right Mark Sloan because I am done watching my sister go through hell while you completely take advantage of her. She told me what she did the other night. And now, because you've waited so long to give her an answer she thinks she doesn't have a chance with you anymore. I'll tell you one thing Mark, she deserves a hell of a lot better than you and I really can't understand why you, of all people, make her happy but you do so I'm just going to have to live with that."

With that, Meredith reaches into her suitcase and pulls out a smaller bag before turning on her heels and walking back the way she came.

" See I told you. Makeup bag." Derek says with a sigh.

My heart feels heavy as I begin to realise just how much I hurt Lexie. But I knew one thing, I was going to make it right.

That's chapter three. Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the reviews :) enjoy this **

**Lexie POV**

I look back up as I hear Meredith coming back into the bathroom, makeup bag in hand.

"Thanks Mere, for everything. And not just for today but for giving us a chance to be sisters." I say as she begins to wipe my face with a wet wipe.

"Thanks Lex, that really means alot since I've never been great at the whole family thing."

"Well, I think that you're just perfect."

She stalls for a second and I worry that I've said something wrong until she suddenly reaches out and pulls me against her, wrapping her thin arms around my waist. Meredith is not a hugger.

"What was that for?"

"For being you." she says simply and carries on fixing up my face.

I can't help but allow a smile to creep across my face and I find myself looking at a similar sight on Merediths face.

"This smile should be what I see on your face all the time, not those Mark tears." she says.

"Did I hear my name?", a voice calls from outside the half open door. My breath catches in my throat. I would recognise that voice anywhere.

Marks face appears from around the door, a slight half smile on his face. Meredith looks at me, a look asking if she should leave. I give a slight nod at her. She slowly turns around and retreats out the door but not before giving a vicious look at Mark. After she leaves I turn and pack up Merediths bag, just needing something to do before facing him again.

"Lex-", he begins.

"Look I know what you're going to say. You and Julia, you love her not me, you're going to marry her not me, and you're going to have all her babies not mine. I get it Mark. You chose her not me-e."

My voice choked on the last word and I stayed facing away from him, unable to see his face in the fear that I would burst into tears again.

"And you know what I'm fine with that because I will find someone else who makes me happy. And then I will be happy without you in my damn life complicating everything and-"

" No."

"What are you talking about Mark?"

"You're wrong." he says and adds 'for once' under his breath with a laugh.

"I love you Alexandra Caroline Grey."

I slowly turn and face his gleaming stare..

"I'm sorry, come again?"

He smiles at the shocked look on my face and takes my two small hands in his big, rough ones.

"I choose you Lex. I want you in my life forever, not Julia. I want to marry you, have kids with you and grow old with you by my side. You are the only woman I've ever really loved in my whole life and I can't lose you. Not now, not ever. Lexie, we're meant to be."

I am completely overwhelmed after hearing what he has to say and though I try, I can't seem to get any words out of my mouth. He laughs at my struggled attempts to speak and brings his lips down gently on mine. I welcome the kiss after waiting almost two years for it. As he starts to pull away, I throw my arms around his neck and pull his back down to me unwilling to let go. He chuckles at my persistence and gives in, wrapping my legs around his waist and pushing me up against the cool wall of the bathroom. His lips travel down my jaw line down to my collar bone. How have I ever managed to stay away from this before I think.

"I love you Mark Sloan." I manage to tell him between kisses.

"And I love you Little Grey. Always have. Always will. You remember that.."

That's it for chapter 4. It's a bit shorter than the others but it's my favourite so far 3

Review please and I will have the next chapter up soon! Promise! If anyone has any suggestions please say so in a review. Thank you for reading


	5. Chapter 5

SORRY EVERYONE Won't be able to update for the next few days because of a family emergency and I've got to go out of town but I will be back updating as soon as possible!


End file.
